“When Enoch had lived 65 years, he became the father
of Methuselah. And after he became the father of
Methusaleh, Enoch walked with God”
(Genesis 5:21-22).
of Methuselah. And after he became the father of
Methusaleh, Enoch walked with God”
(Genesis 5:21-22).
—by James T
Becoming a Parent: Dilemma or
Delight
The
implication of the above
Scripture
is that once Enoch had a
child
he walked with God (since he
lived
to be 365 years old). Research,
observation
and personal experience
confirm
that having a child
produces
a more serious approach
to
life in the parents, especially in
the
spiritual arena. But what about
prior
to the coming of that first
child?
In spite of the biblical directive
to
“be fruitful and increase
in
number” given to us through
Adam
and Eve and Noah and his
sons
(Gen. 3:28; 9:1 NIV), many, if
not
most Christian couples today
experience
a sense of fear as they
anticipate
having a child. The reality
of
parenthood, while exciting and
delightful
in a general sense, also
produces
some anxiety in the minds
of
prospective parents.
Part
of that anxiety is normal,
emanating from within each partner
as
they question their ability to be
parents and consider the responsibility
of
raising a child. But in
Christian
marriages a major portion
of
that anxiety comes from contemplation
of
the world into which
their
child will be born. More and
more
couples bemoan the fact that
society
is becoming increasingly
detrimental
to the welfare and upbringing
of
a child. So in spite of the
fact
that most Christian parents, like
Enoch,
strive to walk with God after
they
have a child, many hesitate to
take
the first step.
What
assurances does Scripture
provide
to couples who are contemplating
parenthood?
The answers
will
be couched in terms of differentiating
biblically
between a planned
and
an unplanned pregnancy.
Prospective Parent Concerns
We
live in a time when decision-making
relative
to having children
has
shifted from the domain of
chance
to the domain of choice.
(This
is not to imply in any way that
God’s
sovereignty has been usurped
by
science. It merely affirms the
fact
that childbirth emanates from
“natural
descent ... human decision
or
a husband’s will” (Jn. 1:13). The
availability
and utility of birth control
and
the increased knowledge of
reproduction
combined with Christian
couples’
awareness of economic
and
career realities often produces
a
decision-making process prior to
conception.
The
first question Christian
couples
consider is typically a tandem
one:
“Should we have a child
(given
our personal situation and
the
wickedness of the world), and if
so,
when?” The subsequent question
of
“How should we raise a child in
the
world such as it is?” quickly follows.
However,
beyond the biological
aspect
of becoming parents is
the
more crucial issue of seeking the
Lord’s
guidance, which leads us to
the
difference between planned and
unplanned
parenthood.
Unplanned vs. Planned Pregnancies
From
a biblical perspective an
unplanned
pregnancy is neither a
pregnancy
out of wedlock (even
though
statistics indicate that one
in
four births are to unwed mothers),
nor
a pregnancy resulting from
an
error when using birth control,
nor
a pregnancy that occurs during
menopause,
or change of life. All of
the
above pregnancies are unexpected
pregnancies,
and certainly
may
produce adjustment reactions
in
their own right, including marital
crises.
So
what is an unplanned pregnancy?
An
unplanned pregnancy is
any
pregnancy that occurs without
the
parents first seeking God’s direction
relative
to having and raising
the
child. In contrast, a planned
pregnancy
is one in which a couple
prayerfully
seeks the Lord’s will and
direction
regarding having a child.
For
such parents a biblical basis for
assurance
and eager anticipation is
given.
The
Parents’ Promise: Noah’s Family
(Gen.
6-9)“As it was in the days
of
Noah, so it will be at the coming
of
the Son of Man. For in the days
before
the flood, people were eating
and
drinking, marrying and giving
in
marriage, up to the day Noah
entered
the ark” (Mt. 24:37-38).
Noah
lived in a day and age so evil
that
the Lord determined that He
would
destroy mankind. Although
He
relented in the case of Noah and
his
family - “God ... protected Noah,
a
preacher of righteousness and
seven
others” (2 Pet. 2:4-5) - the case
can
be made that conditions today
are
not unlike those of Noah’s time.
However,
Noah, in spite of the evil
environment,
was able to find a wife,
have
and raise three sons - Shem,
Ham
and Japheth - and find three
wives
for his sons (Gen. 5:32; 6:5-
11,18;
7:1-13). All this was accomplished
while
Noah was building the
ark
and before the ark was sealed up
by
God thus preserving them from
the
devastation of the flood. Upon
emerging
from the ark the four families,
including
three that had no children,
were
given the commission to
“be
fruitful and increase in number
and
fill the earth” (Gen. 9:1). Imagine
the
trepidation of those “eight souls”
as
they embarked on the path to
procreate
families.
Inherent
in the story of Noah is
the
parents’ promise that God will
protect
and provide for families who
turn
to Him for direction. It comes in
the
form of two metaphors - the ark
and
the rainbow. First, the Christian
family
that builds itself on the Lord,
the
“Rock” of our salvation, will
experience
the protection of the
ark
when flooded by the evil the
world
unleashes against it. God will
provide
the resources necessary to
preserve
our children and to bring
them
to fruitful maturity. The ark is
a
safe place of shelter in the storms
of
life, and provides protection
because
God seals the door. Second,
the
rainbow is the symbol of God’s
promise
of hope in the storms of
life.
A rainbow is created by the sun
shining
through the rain which is a
fitting
picture of God’s promise of
protection:
“Whenever the rainbow
appears
in the clouds, I will see
it
and remember the everlasting
covenant
between God and all living
creatures
(including parents and
their
children) of every kind on the
earth”
(Gen. 9:16).
The Parents’ Prayer: Samson’s
Parents
(Jud. 13) Samson’s parents,
Manoah
and his wife, also lived in
a
time when Israel “did evil in the
eyes
of the Lord” (Jud. 13:1), and
“every
man did that which was
right
in his own eyes” (Jud. 21:25
kjv).
Consequently, when they were
informed
that they would have a
“special”
child who would have to
be
treated in a special way, they also
had
a good deal of fear and trepidation.
However,
they did the right
thing;
they “prayed to the Lord” (Jud.
13:8).
Manoah’s prayer captures
the
essence of every prospective
parent’s
prayer as he or she considers
the
awesome responsibility and
privilege
of bearing and raising their
special
child: “O Lord I beg you, let
the
man of God you sent to us come
again
to teach us how to bring up
the
boy who is to be born” (Jud.
13:8).
This prayer symbolizes the
importance
of each child being set
apart
for God at birth (the meaning
of
the term Nazirite).
This
couple had their spiritual
life
in order, a critical factor for any
couple
thinking about having a
child.
They each had a personal
relationship
with God (Jud. 13:3,
8).
Their marriage was solid in spite
of
the agony of being sterile and
childless
(v. 2). They had good communication:
“The
woman went to
her
husband and told him” what
had
transpired (v. 6). And when
they
realized they were going to be
pregnant,
they immediately started
down
the right path to prepare for
family
life: they turned to the Lord
for
guidance (v. 8).
The Parents’ Purpose: Samuel’s
Mother
(1 Sam. 1-2) Hannah’s ordeal
in
coping with a closed womb, in
spite
of having a husband who
loved
her and treated her in a
special
way (1 Sam. 1:5), provides
the
third element of guidance to the
prospective
parents’ quandary regarding
having
a child - the answer
to
the purpose question. In this case
it
is the motivation of the mother
(Hannah)
with the full support and
cooperation
of the father (Elkanah)
that
raises the point.
Hannah’s
prayer in 1 Samuel 1:11
expresses
the parent’s purpose in
childrearing.
Notice that she invokes
the
“Nazirite” designation in her
petition:
“O Lord almighty, if you will
only
look upon your servant’s misery
and
remember me and not forget
your
servant but give her a son, then
I
will give him to the Lord for all the
days
of his life and no razor will ever
be
used on his head.” This prayer sets
the
context for the parents’ purpose.
Its
motivation is three-fold: first, to
resolve
the generational and heritage
issue
(to provide Elkanah with
a
son); second, to resolve Hannah’s
personal
anguish in being childless;
and
third, to emphasize the Lord’s
preeminence
by dedicating her
firstborn
to Him. The request is not
made
out of concern for preserving
her
marriage. Many couples who are
struggling
in their relationship often
make
the mistake of trying to solve
their
marital problems by having a
child.
This usually results not in resolution
of
marital problems but in the
transformation
of marital problems
into
family problems. Children are
not
meant to be the bonding agent
in
a marriage.
In
Hannah’s case, her prayer
results
in conception and the birth
of
a son, Samuel. When she follows
through
on her pledge, by presenting
him
to Eli, the parents’ purpose
is
formulated: “Now I give him to
the
Lord. For his whole life he will
be
given over to the Lord” (1 Sam. 1:
25-27).
The purpose of every parent
is
to prepare their child to worship
and
serve the Lord. Also, do not dismiss
the
role of Elkanah as Samuel’s
father
in this situation. He played a
significant
role first in supporting
Hannah
- “Do what seems best to
you”
(1 Sam. 1:23) - and then enacting
the
commitment by leaving
Samuel
behind and returning home
with
Hannah (1 Sam. 2:11). He also
had
to make a sacrifice to commit
Samuel
to the Lord.
Conclusion
So what is a planned pregnancy
from a biblical perspective?
A planned pregnancy is
where the prospective parents:
seek the Lord’s guidance
in having and raising their
child (the parents’ prayer);
seek and trust the Lord’s
resources to preserve the child
from the world and protect
the child in the world (the
parents’ promise); and dedicate
themselves to raising the
child to be God’s servant
(The parents’ purpose). CL
Source Confident Living Magazine
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